Stand Up
A man sobering up from the night before was sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nodded off. The priest had been watching him all along, noticing his apparent hangover and was disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decided to make an example of him. He said to his congregation, All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand. The whole room stood except, of course, the sleeping man. Then the preacher said even more loudly, And he who would like to find a place in hell please STAND UP! The weary man caught only the last part groggily stood up, only to find that he was the only one standing. Confused and embarrassed he said, I don't know what we're voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing up for it!