Republicans
How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
A: None, they only screw the poorQ: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: (Dole) When I was a poor boy growing up in Kansas we didn't have light bulbs. Now I have the housekeeper do it.
A: (DuPont) Light bulbs need to be changed? Gosh. I guess the servants have always taken care of that... With a DuPont administration, the power of the free market will be unleashed to produce light bulbs that never need changing.
A: (Robertson) Oh, Lord, with thy divine illumination, heal this light bulb!
A: (Kemp) It's morning in America! Why should we worry about light bulbs? Let
those doom-crying Democrats worry about light bulbs! [stumble over chair in the dark].
A: (Haig) One. Snap to it, soldier!
A: (Bush) None. (Bush in an earnest lap dog voice) I resent that question. I've answered it before, and I think the media are keeping this thing alive. I think the American people are TIRED of light bulb jokes.
Q: How many aides does it take to change President Reagan's light bulb?
A: None, they like to keep him in the dark.